SHAKE [YOURSELF] THE ROOM

“The worst thing you can do to me is slow down my momentum” It aint cute to waste my time. Friendships, relationships, environment, colleagues, family. Do not let anyone take you back to your old stale version. We are in a shake back season. CLAIM IT!

Sometimes we complain about being in the same place for the past 5-10 years – ok I wont be that dramatic, even though some people have been stagnant for this long if not longer, but thankfully for others, it is only several months. So we complain about being stagnant, complain about how unfair our circumstances are, how lucky the next person has been all their life – really, even curse out The Man upstairs for situations we endure; worse, create. Why us we wonder?

We create situations, get used to them, making it difficult to get back on the desired path then blame others for the lost time and energy. How many times we have blamed an ex-lover for time and energy spent – like dude, you have cost me Fashion Nova outfits and makeup money - thinking the steamy nights would lead to a loving relationship and then to the big house with the white picket fence with 3 kids playing in the backyard. I have done it. We all have been down this road. Thinking this guy was definitely the one, God-sent. You start seeing clues, more like inventing clues affirming your desires. You are selling dude up to your girlfriends and family – they either love him because you do or point out all the red signs you are choosing to ignore. Too tired to constantly fight for his honor, you tell yourself your friends are hating; they do not want to see you happy. This magnifies your attraction and even dependence on him. That’s your boo! While he is unsure about every single next move in his life, including you, especially you; he might not have expressed in such words but his actions, oh his actions, have been so clear. But you are blinded, BY LUST / LOVE. Fast forward 10 years spent like this, you are at the same exact point in your relationship as month 6. Is life unfair, were you dealt all the wrong cards or have you just stucked too long in a bad place hoping for a miracle.

Life seems to be a constant resolving door; same things happening over and over. Will you ever get the break you prayed for? Like is there a shelf life to our prayers? We need to stop storing our faith for rainy days. Exercise and incorporate it in every day of your life so when we come across those exhausting circumstances, we are ten toes down, physically and mentally. It takes faith, obedience and practice, and the cycle starts again. Faith, whether in our God, or just faith you will pull through. A positive mindset as cliché as it sounds is your best starting point. It quiets down your doubts and fuels your will. The darkness of the night is no longer terrifying; you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

You will get the marriage of your life but don’t forget there is still fight, promises hidden, faith to be observed, beliefs to be applied. He never said there would not be weapons formed, He said they would not succeed.

You get an idea, an opportunity, a “right” guy/girl but they do not end up where you thought they would. You have worked and walked for so long and nothing has changed. The change might not be visible, because it is not on the outside. What if the transformation is from the inside? Don’t be discouraged! It is never too late to go back to the drawing board. As long as you have breath, there is still time. You just have to start, somewhere, anywhere. Do not give up. Giving up is so easy. Throwing in the towel is easy, a safe move. The struggle can be tiring, especially if progress is stagnant.

Depression, anxiety, self-hate creep in and you believe in the description others have of you.

• A baby momma? Yes that’s you. But you are also the loving mother of the sweetest, beautiful little girl, full of happiness, smart and healthy.

• A high school drop out? Yes that you. But you are the owner of a successful business and go home to your loving family every evening.

• A self-mutilator? Yes that’s you. But you are speaking to the youth and helping them out of their depressive thoughts with your experience.

• An ex-con? Yes that’s you. But you have turned your life around and has obtained a degree

• An obese? Yes that’s you. But you are learning how to cook healthy meals and walking your mile everyday.

I say this to say this. Do not let people define you, or put their own stamp on you. There is improvement to be made if you really want to. Learn to shake the room. There is not a situation, a room you are in, where you cannot learn from and make the next day better.

Ever sat down and look back at past circumstances you thought you would never get out of? Or opportunities that just landed on your lap and propelled you to higher grounds. Your current situation is not your final destination. I want you to believe it so badly and want it even more. Your friends and family can speak life into you; they can also be your biggest roadblocks. Learn to shed the weight when needed. Shake it off. They can’t stop your momentum. Your aspirations are yours to make happen, your generational curses are yours to break. Full speed ahead on your dreams. Life waits for no one.

During these pandemic times, a lot of us are either feeling the pressure to make things happen – I mean we have an abundance of free time, and others are struggling with their thoughts – again because of the additional time. Use the time to re-center, to tighten your circle, to map out your next years. One thing COVID should have thought us is tomorrow is not promised. Things do not happen overnight but change – positive change and advancement, has to be constant. We can all win. Let’s stop believing otherwise!

What are some things you have put on the back burner? Share with us!