Quarantine love - or lack thereof

It has been nearly one month since we have been asked, then forced to stay home due to an invisible havoc wreaker. People are fidgety, like kindergarten kids on timeout missing playtime on a nice sunny day. We are confused about all the constantly changing medical information with an undetermined end to this circus life has become. Suddenly staying home feels like a punishment; but when did home feel such like a prison we would rather risk our lives venturing out in the wild – that is what outside is looking like lately. Animals are reproducing; air is purifying; nature is thriving, while we are home pouting.

Disclaimer: In the following paragraphs, I am not referring to people living in abused circumstances. Believe me, I know it is not solely unicorns and rainbows inside the homes. Back to our regular schedule programming.

The standards for dating after quarantine have been raised – all standards really but let us focus on dating and love here for a minute. Maybe that is why most of you refuse to stay home. You are finally seeing the person you have decided on and vice versa. It is like the morning after a one-night stand. After all the Henny – ok I am biased, after all the liquor, fun, dancing, the illusion has dissipated; you are seeing your mate in the light, their true colors are shining through. And oh boy, that light is bright, highlighting all their imperfections, exposing their flaws to you.

These new times are forcing us to reflect on a lot of things. Some of us are fortunate to be home with loved ones; others live alone and enjoying their company by any means necessary and you have several who are in situationships, which is making each second of this quarantine life dreadful. And referring to situationships, I am speaking of any relationships between two individuals whether married or single but whose bond is nothing but purposeful love; in other words, if you do not want to be in it and has had one leg in and one leg out most of the time, it is a situationship. Children might be the reason they are cohabitating, finance is another reason, anything but love.

I am seeing people freak out on social media for not being able to get their nails done, have their eyebrows plucked, their bikini line trimmed, their hair done, just to sit at home. Sis, people are dying and you are worrying about your beauty routine?! If your man cannot appreciate your true, natural beauty stucked in a house with you for 60 days then thank you Coronavirus, he ain’t the one for you. Do not get me wrong; I am missing the finer things in life too but this afro will be rocked until I am able to sit in a salon, peacefully without my heart racing and enjoy getting my tresses laid, in due time.

These are trying times; no one could have thought of this horror movie becoming a reality. Maybe in your relationship, you have dealt with infidelity, negative balances on your bank accounts, your sister-in-laws hating your guts for no reason at all, losing a job, but this right here! Not in a million years, we thought 2020 would make its grand entrance like this and prolong this torture – on a whole wide world basis. So stressful moments will bring about tense discussions and true natures will be exposed. I want to know who I will be doing life with; are you strong enough to look past the uneven eyebrows and love me at my worst. This virus will end – sooner rather than later I am praying for; but it will be over. If we cannot survive 60 days in a house, then why are together? No seriously, several of us are with people we do not like. Life is a Survivor marathon right now. Do we like each, can we converse, can you teach me something, can we laugh, can we learn together, can we call out each other’s flaws without repercussions, can we switch roles for a day when I am tired – you bathe the kids or do the dishes while I crush the budget real quick, can you take my mom’s call and reduce her anxiety to decrease my own, can we pray, workout together and every night rediscover each other’s crevices like it was the first night. If you are not adding to my value each day, you are not essential and you can take your butt right out when outside is open. Post-quarantine we need to do better; being in real romantic partnerships and creating sheltered, loving homes so we won’t need to venture out.

For a quick minute, I thought about my own situation and what I bring to the table. In a true Caribbean, Haitian, ancient world, nothing – because your girl does not know how to cook. So quarantine-Steph as a wife would be total failure. The house would be clean, our budget set; you would be physically and mentally stimulated, prayed up, have the best conversations with your friend imbedded in your wife, but also hungry as hell. This perspective has brought me to the kitchen. So yes, finally she is learning to cook. Moun blan style at first; she is trying and lawddddd that is progress.

So let’s toast to happier times past, present and future; to having imperfect mates perfectly tailored for you with enough patience, love, courage and stamina to endure you through pandemics, whether worldwide or more personal.