Hey Girl, Hey!

Ever been in situations, moments in your life where you felt like people around you were disappearing, not that you had a fight or major fallout – well that you know of, but your circle just has been getting tighter, smaller. You were once the girl who would never be seen without her flock of girlfriends, or guys, then slowly but surely the group of 8 became 6, then 4 and then only 3 remained. Did you change, did you hurt them in some way, was the friendship only of circumstances or all made up in your mind?

For years, I have harbored on a lost friendship, it may have not been lost because on my end, the sentiments were real and they have remained no matter what have transpired. But sometimes, it is ok to let go; not because you do not care anymore, but actually because you care too much. You care too much about your own well-being, your true happiness and have faith you have given your best self in every memory lived and shared. I personally have a hard time to let go, from friends to boyfriends, any relationship period, simply because I have given that person the most purest form of me, simply, truly.

I have read a post on the Purpose App – the Angela Simmons app, talking about the different types of friends. You have the one you call to talk you out of a stupid act, the one you call to bust down doors with you, the one to push you in achieving your goals, the one who understands your crazy family and then there is your soul sister. The latter is the one you reach out to for everything; she knows your darkest moments and is always there to uplift while she also celebrates your wins as her own. I am blessed to have a friend for each of these situations but most importantly friendships I know I can pour myself in and get the same back.

What most of us tend to forget is that just like any other relationship, a friendship is a two-way street, and the work has to be put forth on both sides. Women would turn the world up side down for their men but not for their girlfriends. Quick to be Bonnie to a Clyde but not Laverne to a Shirley - to each their own. There is a time for everything and the daily phone calls will eventually turn to weekly dinners then to monthly brunch dates but nonetheless, the effort to keep “the fire alive” has to come from both sides. Resentment does not only happen within couples; friends can experience it. So return to miss call, set up FaceTime dates, have the monthly dinners, and go on that yearly trip.

Friends share a bond so special, beautiful and necessary; it is a gift to be able to find one truly you can rely on. Some of my close friends are people so different from culture, age group, race, career, and I appreciate this aspect the most. It helps me be a more multifaceted version of myself. I am learning, growing and able to better contribute to the friendship because of other experiences lived. So is it ok to mourn a lost friendship – well a true friendship is really never lost, maybe just lost signal, disconnected for a moment; but yes you can mourn, at the same time be open to the many other memories you can achieve with another blessed soul. Honor your friendships; there is something special about the ones you can pick up where you last left off. They still exist. My hope for you is that you can recall a few.

Are there any friends you felt you lost along the way? Share with us