CONTROL THE NEGATIVE

“Control the negative,” said my brother as I was killing it in the vertical knee raises. I nodded and proceeded and my 12 easy reps became a lousy 5. Same thing happened yesterday while working out at home with resistance bands for the first time. I used to minimize their value, I mean you are talking about some flimsy elastic strips as opposed to the dirty, heavy weights at the gym. Well I learned quickly yesterday how wrong I was. It is all in the negative, in controlling the descent; as each rep became more difficult to master, each set became easier. Almost an oxymoron but let me explain. You see this is the same way we should be living life, especially this unintentional slowdown.

Currently, we are in a forced stay-cation. We used to complain how there were not enough hours to achieve the many things on our to-do list, or even entertain our hobbies; now we have been granted surplus time. So much more time, we are begging for it to be taken back. We joke around, we scroll on IG for several hours, we create Tik Tok videos to entertain our families both in-house and online, we actually Netflix and Chill with bae in our respective houses – feel sorry for the ones in a long-distance relationship; but then again you are most equipped for these hard times – jokie joke. Nonetheless, time we have it now and we do not know what to do with it.

I am a big believer in not wasting time, as I do not know how much the Man upstairs has granted me. No one on this earth knows when he or she is leaving it; not even the poor, sick patients laying in hospice. Doctors might be close in telling you how much you have left, but close is never accurate or definitive. So now 24 hours in a day feels like 92, you refresh your timeline 100 times so much some you are giving yourself “gamekeeper’s thumb” – a lot of you will be going to the doctor for this reason after quarantine. Break it down to you: it is like carpal tunnel but of the thumb. So much time, too little to do; so create activities.

Many of you have kids and families to tend to and some are in difficult housing situation whether physically, emotionally, financially, sexually – home is probably the last place you want to be right now or ever; but most you are not facing these burdens. Being a single female, with no kids, family members nearby or bae to entertain, it is a little “easier” for me to focus on myself but you are what you entertain and I refuse to let you guys, or myself be so caught up in the negative effects of the hysteria, the media and of course the main actress in this movie, COVID-19. I cannot stress it enough, WE as a people, especially the black community, have a lot to learn, to build on so take a day to freak out, cry, be angry and go back to the drawing board because the world is not stopping so you should not.

1- Learn or brush up on a new language. I learned Spanish by myself just by listening to Spanish-singing artists like Enrique Iglesias and Marc Anthony, then by watching telenovelas in Haiti, took some courses in school and continued to perfect it by speaking to anyone who would practice with me. Currently during this lockdown, I am back on my Spanish playlist a few songs daily.

2- Workout. It is good for your summer body but also to help you process everything that is going on to the best of your ability. Maintain and protect your peace, by being active.

3- Journaling. My phone has some of my most intimate thoughts but I also have a journal next to my bed and I would put the pen to paper, and my mind would unleash under my fingertips. So therapeutic, worth a try.

4- Pray/Meditate. Many do not believe in God, or even a higher power so that is why I say pray and/or meditate. It is speaking out your fears knowing they are temporary and asking for peace over them.

5- Read a book. I just finished “Don’t Settle for Safe” by Sarah Jakes Roberts and when I tell you she spoke life into me.

6- Money management. Oh finances! If this is not the time to count our pennies and use our dollars wisely, I do not know what is. I know nothing about investing, I just have been saving my coins but best believe I am looking to invest now.

7- Learn a skill. Study. Cultivate your mind. My dad always told me learning is never done in medicine. On the weekends, he would sit with me while I was studying and “feuilleter” one of the many medical books we had in our library.

8 - Listen to a podcast. Full disclaimer, I listen to Lip Service by Angela Yee when I am giving my mind a recreational timeout but there are numerous medical, spiritual, lifestyle, financial ones I listen to also.

9 - Create that vision board. A purposeful activity you can do by yourself or with your partner and even the whole family. Let's stop talking about it and be about

I cannot stress it enough how valuable time is. I am trying my best to help you not waste yours. 2020 is the worst of time but it is also the best of time. I’ll be damned if I come out of this quarantine the same Steph I was before going into it. I am changing the narrative by controlling the negative. As a medical professional, I think about how I am exposing myself to different illnesses on the daily but this is the career I happily chose and in order to be efficient in it, I have to work on my negatives – fears, doubts, own ailments, personal issues, daily to be fully committed to my purpose. So are we going to let COVID-19 take away not only our freedom but our intelligence, self-love, mental stability or we are going to work on our kinks, control our negatives now to come out soaring whenever, however long it takes to flatten this curve?!?

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